How did a computer scientist such as Geoffrey Hinton manage to win a Nobel Prize in physics when computer science already has its own Nobel Prize equivalent in the Turing Awards?

They then move on to selectively provide their own version of history. But hey, it’s OK. They wanted controversy, didn’t they? Whatever.

A fly on the wall at the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences

In awarding prizes, the Nobel Committees often seem only marginally more competent than MTG is at explaining meteorology. And if they can give a literature prize for lyrics like:

Has Great Britain ever been considered a "hyper-power" like the United States or Russia are currently considered? If not, why?

Whatever.

You can have your cake and eat it too

"Good point, I'm sure we can swing it. And let's tack on Hopfield while we're about it."

Is something wrong with my discharge? So, when I masturbate, white discharge comes from my vagina, but it's not stretchy, it's pasty. It doesn't smell and I'm not itchy, so I'm sure it's not a yeast infection. Why is it pasty though?

"Naah, Linnainmaa is a Finn. Can't give it to a bloody Finnish mathematician. Let's go for drinks. Brännvin anyone?"

… then anything is possible. There’s no rule that a Nobel Prize has to make sense.^*

In December 1973, when Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, comedian Tom Lehrer dropped his mic and stamped on it—satire had just died.

Can you show pictures of your penis, big or small?

"Didn't he do something with Boltzmann in it? That sounds physics-y. RBMs and stuff, eh?"

Fortunately, we are privy to the discussion that led up to this:

[The basic structure of artificial neural networks] has close similarities with spin models in statistical physics applied to magnetism or alloy theory. This year’s Nobel Prize in Physics recognizes research exploiting this connection to make breakthrough methodological advances in the field of ANN.

Is the Donald Trump Bible any different from a regular Bible? Has Trump altered its contents?

Why wait any longer for the world to begin?

"Where can we shoehorn it in? Chemistry is easy 'cos AlphaFold; but what about physics? A bit more challenging, right?"

Whatever.

What are your darkest taboo confessions?

(Mumbles of assent)

"Good idea, but how can we wangle something that says 'Physics'?"

(Bob Dylan, Nobel Prize for Literature, 2016)

Is Trump a complete idiot?

There you go.^†

"Hey guys, AI is pretty big so let's centre our prizes on it this year. We can get some attention, and it's all about advertising, at the end of the day, isn't it?"

[Older voice] "Mmm. What about Hinton, he's widely regarded? Nobody got fired for buying IBM"

Why do women stubbornly refuse to let men lead, even though they are attracted to the man, and the man both loves and desires them? Why do they get angry and blame the man when he gets fed up and walks away, when it's entirely their own fault?

^* Fibiger got the 1926 Medicine prize for the discovery of Spiroptera carcinoma (Don’t ask).

Why wait any longer for the one you love?

[Younger voice] "But wait a minute, Ising-Lenz goes back to the 1920's. And didn't Hinton plagiarise rather a lot? He also didn't invent modern backprop, did he, that's Linnainmaa? And Amari preceded Hopfield, too. That's not a good look."

We white women don't like white men. Do you have any issue with that?

^† They rationalise their decision thusly:

When he's standing, in front of you

My 11 million SEK, Dr Jo.

What is the difference between the terms "Millennials" and "kids"?